A letter to all my disconnected friends

I haven’t spoken to you for too long and then it was too much. I didn’t know what to say anymore.

Some strange reality have come to me, taken over me, overcome me, become mine and eventually become me.

And I’m trying to look above that wall of the strange reality but sometimes my eyes hit into it so hard, I lose my hope.

I dance through the day like I’m a soul who loves him and who’s loved by him and then it hits me: I’m just a body. I cannot love or be loved.

I try to work but the walls keeps saying: I can’t do that. How can I work when everything else is wrong? I keep my mind fixed on all these things, trying to save them. And I long to be saved.

Everytime I feel I miss him it hits me: I don’t miss the real him because I have nothing to talk about with him. I miss the connection I don’t seem to have with him anymore. It’s the same with some of you too.

Everytime I’m happy it hits me: I’m just avoiding the real work.

Anyway, I want to tell you that we usually don’t see the storyline in our lives and we’re only aware of a short part of the present but it is a real story. 

And the winds in it are often stronger than us, as magnificent and high as mountains and yet we hike the mountains and get over them and become different, stronger, by fighting with the wind. Sometimes we have to hide and cry to find our strengths again, that’s what the wind’s all about, it’s not a breeze to caress you, it’s wild.

So many things I thought would matter don’t matter because of love.